If you're here, someone you care about has tics, Tourette syndrome, OCD, or some combination, and you want to help without making it worse. That instinct is right, and the good news is that the most useful things you can do are small and unglamorous.
What helps, and what doesn't
Try this
- Stay calm and keep doing whatever you were doing.
- Listen first — even if it starts with “I don't know.”
- Ask before you bring it up: “Is now an okay time?”
- Treat them like a person, not a case to manage.
Skip this
- Pointing out the tic. It makes them self-conscious, which makes it worse.
- Guessing at a different diagnosis, or labeling a school record.
- “Stop it.” “Try harder.” “Just relax.”
- Sighing, staring, or making the room go quiet.
Why it works
Attention and stress both feed tics and compulsions. Staying calm and ordinary isn't you ignoring it — it's you giving their nervous system room to settle.
Just listen to your kid
This is the whole thing, and it is harder than it sounds, because when your kid is struggling every instinct says fix it. But a lot of what a kid with tics needs is not a solution. It's one person who doesn't flinch.
One thing worth knowing: repeatedly reassuring a kid with OCD — answering the same worried question again and again — feels like comfort but tends to feed the loop. Reassurance is what the compulsion is chasing. It works for about a minute, then it wears off, and the question comes back a little louder. Sitting with them in the uncertainty is harder and helps more. A clinician who does ERP can teach you how to do that well.
If you're a teacher
The single most valuable thing you can do is decline to make it a moment. No look, no pause, no “are you okay?” in front of twenty-five people. Keep teaching. If you want to check in, do it privately and later.
Tics get worse under stress and attention, and better when a kid feels unremarkable. A student who trusts that your classroom is a place where nothing will be made of it will have an easier time in your room than almost anywhere else in the building.
Accommodations that actually help
- A quiet, no-questions-asked pass to step out for two minutes.
- Testing in a separate room, so suppressing isn't part of the exam.
- Not being called on to read aloud without warning.
- Extra time when tics are interfering with writing.
The Tourette Association of America has free school advocacy materials, including sample 504 plan language.
Lines your kid can borrow
If they don't have words ready, every conversation becomes improvisation under pressure. These are the ones that work. Offer them, don't assign them.
To a friend
“My brain gets loud and I have to do a thing. It's not a big deal — you don't have to react.”
To a teacher
“Sometimes I move or make a sound I can't control. Please don't call it out in front of the class.”
To themselves
“This is my brain being convincing. Convincing isn't the same thing as right.”
Finding actual care
The first-line behavioral treatment for tics is CBIT, and the honest situation is that there are only a few hundred CBIT-trained clinicians in the United States. Many families wait months, and plenty have nobody within a reasonable drive. If that's you, you are not failing at this — the supply genuinely isn't there yet.
Start with the Tourette Association of America's provider directory. If tics come with OCD, which they very often do, the International OCD Foundation's directory is the place to look for someone who does ERP. Ask directly whether they have CBIT or ERP training — it is a fair question and good clinicians expect it.
Meanwhile, learning the basics yourself is genuinely useful. Here's what CBIT actually is, in plain language.
The version written for them
There's a companion page written directly to teenagers, in a teenager's voice: a teen's guide to tics and OCD. You're welcome to read it, and you're welcome to send it to them without commentary. Sometimes that lands better than a conversation.